The board is set. The pieces are moving. Let there be blood!!

What it is LAMBs. Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here, ready to satisfy your cravings with another edition of Clash of the Lambs. Every week, I pit character against character and leave it to you to decide the victor. What’s that? You cheer for blood? By jove, you’ll have it!

For those who missed it, a recap of last weeks fight. After giving my PR department a piece of my mind, I turned my attention to the fight at hand. This was one of the closest fights in Clash history. Every contestant dealt a deadly blow to others, but only one came out on top in the end. With the Na’vi in the sky on its Ikran, the Tripod towering over the field, and the Prawn in its mech suit, there was no clear favorite in the beginning. The tripod fired its heat ray at the Na’vi while trying to lasso up the Prawn with its tentacles. The Na’vi ran strafing runs on both parties, firing its wicked arrows with deadly precision. The Prawn’s superior firepower lay waste to the Tripod’s shields, and brought down the Na’vi warrior’s mount, sending the blue alien crashing to the ground. The Pandora native did not take kindly to that, and immediately sent an arrow flying at the Prawn, penetrating its armor, and instantly killing it. With the refugee out of the way, the shield-less Tripod and the mount-less Na’vi turned to face each other. It was tricky. The Tripod was relentless with its heat ray, but the Na’vi was too quick. It got up on the machine’s shell, and attempted to get in. Unfortunately, the Tripod sent a tentacle up to ensnare the Na’vi. With the it’s opponent captured, the Tripod sent a out a burst of heat ray, disintegrating the creature from Pandora.

The Results
The Tripods: 9 Votes (Did not see that coming, to be honest.)
The Na’vi: 8 Votes (Guess being wealthier than some countries can only take you so far.)
The Prawns: 7 Votes (If only they had the sweetie man.)

So, get this. I walk into my office of pain this morning, and who do I find, but the Predator, all sombre and badass, the Xenomorph’s skull still clutched in its hands. It was not happy. It did not like the fact that there was another extra-terrestrial out there that could soundly defeat multitudes of other species. How I figured out that this is what he meant is beyond me, as Predator’s only talk in growls and roars. Anyway, his point came across. The hunter wanted to challenge the Tripod in one-on-one combat for the title of True Intergalactic Badass! I was getting weary of all this alien tomfoolery, but, those wrist blades are mighty effective instruments in persuasion. As I write this, my IT guys are working on a new robotic arm for me. Anyway, my hands were tied. We have a Championship Match in store for us this week.

As always, let’s not make it a popularity contest. The Predator may have taken down the Xenomorph and the guys who blew up the White House, but that heat ray looks mighty dangerous for over here. The Tripod may have taken down the most profitable aliens of all time, but, a lot of the machine is made from organic material, and those wrist blades of the Predator’s are wicked sharp. I should know. Think about it. Who would actually win?

Reminder: If you have ideas of fights you’d like to see played out in the ring, don’t be coy little sheep. Sound off in the comments section or send an e-mail to sebguts10@yahoo.com. I will do everything in my power to make sure your bloodlust is satiated.

Alright, well, my new arm has been fitted on, and is working quite nicely. The Predator is activating its cloaking device. The Tripod is warming up its heat rays. I think it’s about to time to start. The crowd is going wild. Let’s make it happen!

3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!

This is the last alien fight for awhile, I promise. 

What it is LAMBs! Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here to provide your weekly intake of gore with another edition of Clash of the Lambs! Every week, I pit character against character and leave it to you to decide the victor. What’s that? You cheer for blood? By jove, you’ll have it!

For those of you who missed it, a recap of last weeks fight! Apparently, people were so shocked by Maximus’ domination of the competition that they stayed away! Despite that, the fight was significantly better balanced, although there was a clear winner in the end. The three perpetrators of alien genocide took the ring. Both Dutch and Ripley, immediately turned on Hiller, who couldn’t get to his plane on time. He was brought down by fire from Ripley’s pulse rifle, and finished off by Dutch, who dropped a tree on him! The two remaining warriors then turned on each other. Dutch managed to wound Ripley with his bow and arrow, but, the feminine badass quickly got into her power loader and ripped Dutch in half with it! Yeesh!

The Results
Dutch: 3 Votes (Alright. Not as big of a landslide!)
Ellen Ripley: 9 Votes (Guess killing one species for four films drives the point home!)
Capt. Steven Hiller: 0 Votes (Guess NASA aren’t the only people who don’t want him!)

Well LAMBs, it seems I’ve been a bit intolerant. I got a very strongly worded letter just the other day from a representative of the creatures that these three people so merrily butchered. Get this, they wanted to have a turn in the ring! I know! Crazy! Anyway, I was happy to oblige! The three who wrote to me will be thrown into the mix this week. One is an intergalactic hunter. One is a vicious parasite. One loves to blow shit up. This should be fun!

Fighter 1: The Predator

The ultimate BAMF when it comes to killing things for sport. Harking from a society that is based on who can collect the most heads, The Predator is not to be screwed around with! Extremely athletic, very stealthy, and armed to the teeth, this one will put up a formidable fight! Armed with wrist blades, a wicked quarter staff, a plasma launcher, and advanced cloaking technology, The Predator could very easily own this whole fight! And besides, if he dies, the other two dies as well. Predator’s have a nasty habit of going nuclear when they expire!


Fighter 2: The Xenomorph

These guys are freaky! For starters, they have racked up, quite possibly, the most excessive body count of any species. Hell, they take a life just by being born! The Xenomorph does not have the technology or weapons of its two opponents, but, unlike the other two, the Xenomorph is made to do nothing but kill things. This is the ultimate combat organism. Every single aspect of this creature can be the end of you, from the powerful claws to the mouth within a mouth, the spiked tail to the acid blood. It can climb up walls and is very fast! Watch out for this one!

Fighter 3: The… Guys Who Blew Up the White House?

Yeah, those guys. Sorry, I don’t know what they are called! Be that as it may, they could still kill me, you, and everyone ever with just a blast of their city leveling weapon! These guys showed up out of the blue one day, and, by the time the clock struck twelve that night, they had wiped out a good portion of the human race, and nearly all of the world’s easily recognizable landmarks. In addition to their enormous destroyers, these guys also posses really vicious attack craft, which are quick and very deadly! But, the one thing that will give them an edge on the battlefield is the fact they are FRIGGIN’ PSYCHICS!!! They can get inside your head and mess with you incessantly, and you will be powerless to stop them. Both the Predator and the Xenomorph will have to watch out for that.
Addendum: These guys have serious issues when it comes to leaving the house, so, they always travel and do things as a civilization. The field may get a bit crowded!

As always, let’s not make this a popularity contest. Think it over. You may think the Predator is cooler, but can he stand up to a alien civilization that can level entire cities? The Xenomorph may look vicious, but that body can’t stand up to a plasma bolt very well. The nameless ones are intimidating, but, let just one Xenomorph onto their ship, and they’ll have a problem. Be honest with yourself. Who would actually win?

As always, if you have ideas for future conflicts, don’t be coy little sheep. Sound off in the comment section of send an e-mail to sebguts10@yahoo.com.

Well, I think everyone’s ready to go. The Predator is sharpening his blades. The Xenomorph is salivating. The nameless ones are hanging in the sky ominously! Let’s make it happen!

3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!

Who Is The Toughest Alienonline survey

The board is set! The pieces is moving! Let there be blood!!!

What it is LAMBS!!! Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here, ready to satiate your bloodlust with another edition of Clash of the Lambs. Every week, I pit character against character and leave it to you to decide the victor! What’s that? You cheer for blood? By jove, you’ll have it!

For those who missed it, a recap of last week’s fight! The topic was Ridley Scott and swords! I pit Maximus against Balian against Robin Hood. To call it a landslide victory would be be an insult to landslide victories. The fight began, and it was immediately clear who the victor would be. Both Maximus and Balian went for Robin Hood first, as his archery would prove to be a distraction in the fight. The merry man went down extremely quickly, falling before Maximus’ and Balian’s swords. The two remaining contestants then turned on each other. Balian, with his longer sword, had something of an advantage, but Maximus was too talented of a warrior. He got up close, where Balian’s sword was useless, and easily dispatched the crusader! Maximus emerged victorious, with only a small scratch to say that he fought anyone at all.

The Results
Maximus Decimus Meridius: 30 votes (So much for a not popularity contest :-p)
Balian of Ibelin: 1 vote (Way to be, whoever you are)
Robin Hood: 0 votes (How very unmerry!)

This week, we’re taking a trip into modern and future times. All the contestants have one thing in common. They are all famous for killing a whole bunch of really mean aliens. Whether they killed an intergalactic hunter, a parasitic monster, or an entire, locust-like civilization, these guys bring a whole new meaning to alien genocide!

Fighter 1: Dutch (Predator)

Ok, he only killed one alien, but it was quite possibly the most tenacious alien in the history of ever! An alien that can shoot plasma beams, has vicious wrist blades, a wicked quarter staff, can turn invisible, and  will turn itself into a nuclear bomb when it is defeated? That is not something you want to cross! That memo was never delivered to Dutch, who goes all medieval on the alien’s ass, made doubly impressive that he beats it using primitive things, like stealth, bows and arrows, and strategically placed traps. The big hurrah, though? He finishes off the beast, not with his fists, or a knife, or something like that. No, he kills it with a tree. A TREE! This guy’s a G! Dutch’s advantage over the competition is his ability to improvise and adapt to the environment, eventually utilizing his surroundings to kill his opponents! He’s gonna put up one tough fight!

Fighter 2: Ellen Ripley (The Alien Series)

Ellen Ripley inhabits a nightmare! She has had the absurd misfortune of having to face off against the alien on more than one occasion! These experiences have turned a lowly Warrant Officer into the epitome of feminine badassery! She has been known to mow down countless xenomorphs, torch their eggs, and then go mano a mano with the queen in a power loader! Ripley’s advantage over the competition stems from her hardened, no nonsense personality. She is calculating and brutal. She will straight up kill you, no bullshit, and then move on to her next victim without so much as a one liner! Well, that, and she has the equivalent of a mech suit! That’s gonna be hard to beat!

Fighter 3: Capt. Steven Hiller (Independence Day)

Though a jokester and straight up playa on the outside, Steven Hiller is, in reality, a resourceful and gifted killer when it comes to dispatching off worlders! The only one of his squad to bring down an alien fighter, he then learned how to pilot an alien craft and flew it up to the mothership. He then, with the help of his trusty sidekick David, made it possible for the resistance on Earth to deal a killing blow to the invading destroyers. After this, he dropped a nuke and obliterated an entire alien civilization! Hiller is not as gifted a fighter on the ground as Ripley or Dutch, which is why he’s going to stay in the air, blowing the competition out of the water with his skills as a pilot! He’s also just plain cool! Sometimes, cool can win battles!

Same as last time, let’s not make it a popularity contest. Think over it in as critical a manner as you can. Ripley may be the favorite character, but can a pulse rifle destroy an aircraft, or hit someone who is striking from the shadows. Dutch may be a badass, but stealth and traps can only go so far. Hiller is a cool cat, but his cockiness may get the better of him. Be honest. Who would actually win?

As always, if you have ideas for future conflicts, don’t be coy little sheep. Sound off in the comment section or send an e-mail to sebguts10@yahoo.com.

Well, I think the fighters are about ready to go! The crowd is going wild. Let’s make it happen!

3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!!

Who Should the Alien’s Fear Most?survey software