The board is set. The pieces are moving. Let there be blood!!

What it is LAMBs. Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here, ready to satisfy your cravings with another edition of Clash of the Lambs. Every week, I pit character against character and leave it to you to decide the victor. What’s that? You cheer for blood? By jove, you’ll have it!

For those who missed it, a recap of last weeks fight. After giving my PR department a piece of my mind, I turned my attention to the fight at hand. This was one of the closest fights in Clash history. Every contestant dealt a deadly blow to others, but only one came out on top in the end. With the Na’vi in the sky on its Ikran, the Tripod towering over the field, and the Prawn in its mech suit, there was no clear favorite in the beginning. The tripod fired its heat ray at the Na’vi while trying to lasso up the Prawn with its tentacles. The Na’vi ran strafing runs on both parties, firing its wicked arrows with deadly precision. The Prawn’s superior firepower lay waste to the Tripod’s shields, and brought down the Na’vi warrior’s mount, sending the blue alien crashing to the ground. The Pandora native did not take kindly to that, and immediately sent an arrow flying at the Prawn, penetrating its armor, and instantly killing it. With the refugee out of the way, the shield-less Tripod and the mount-less Na’vi turned to face each other. It was tricky. The Tripod was relentless with its heat ray, but the Na’vi was too quick. It got up on the machine’s shell, and attempted to get in. Unfortunately, the Tripod sent a tentacle up to ensnare the Na’vi. With the it’s opponent captured, the Tripod sent a out a burst of heat ray, disintegrating the creature from Pandora.

The Results
The Tripods: 9 Votes (Did not see that coming, to be honest.)
The Na’vi: 8 Votes (Guess being wealthier than some countries can only take you so far.)
The Prawns: 7 Votes (If only they had the sweetie man.)

So, get this. I walk into my office of pain this morning, and who do I find, but the Predator, all sombre and badass, the Xenomorph’s skull still clutched in its hands. It was not happy. It did not like the fact that there was another extra-terrestrial out there that could soundly defeat multitudes of other species. How I figured out that this is what he meant is beyond me, as Predator’s only talk in growls and roars. Anyway, his point came across. The hunter wanted to challenge the Tripod in one-on-one combat for the title of True Intergalactic Badass! I was getting weary of all this alien tomfoolery, but, those wrist blades are mighty effective instruments in persuasion. As I write this, my IT guys are working on a new robotic arm for me. Anyway, my hands were tied. We have a Championship Match in store for us this week.

As always, let’s not make it a popularity contest. The Predator may have taken down the Xenomorph and the guys who blew up the White House, but that heat ray looks mighty dangerous for over here. The Tripod may have taken down the most profitable aliens of all time, but, a lot of the machine is made from organic material, and those wrist blades of the Predator’s are wicked sharp. I should know. Think about it. Who would actually win?

Reminder: If you have ideas of fights you’d like to see played out in the ring, don’t be coy little sheep. Sound off in the comments section or send an e-mail to sebguts10@yahoo.com. I will do everything in my power to make sure your bloodlust is satiated.

Alright, well, my new arm has been fitted on, and is working quite nicely. The Predator is activating its cloaking device. The Tripod is warming up its heat rays. I think it’s about to time to start. The crowd is going wild. Let’s make it happen!

3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!

This is the last alien fight for awhile, I promise. 

The board is set. The pieces are moving. Let there be blood!

What it is LAMBs. Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here, ready to satiate your never ending thirst for blood with another edition of Clash of the Lambs. Every week, I pit character against character and leave it to you to choose the victor.

For those who missed it, a recap of last week’s fight. The Predator, the Xenomorph, and the Nameless Ones all took the ring. To everyone’s surprise, this fight was significantly longer than previous ones, as every combatant dealt at least one devastating blow. The fight began, and, as the Predator and Xenomorph danced around each other, the Nameless Ones got an early lead. The fired their city-leveling weapon at the Xenomorph. It missed, but managed to destroy the entire nest of Facehugger eggs. This pissed off the Xenomorph, who quickly scaled the walls of the ring and leapt on the alien craft. It got inside, and, as the Predator wailed on the ship with its plasma beam, got to the control room, killed every creature in there, and sent the massive cruiser crashing to the earth. With the Nameless Ones destroyed, the two remaining fighters turned back on each other. The Xenomorph got in close, dealing massive damage to the Predator. The intergalactic hunter, thanks to its improved strength, was able to throw the Xenomorph off him and vaporize him with a well placed shot of his plasma rifle. The ultimate badass let out a roar of victory, holding the Xenomorph’s head in the air like a trophy!

The Results
The Predator: 14 Votes (Whew. No nuclear bomb necessary.)
The Xenomorph: 10 Votes (Guess those stupid AVP movies got to people’s heads.)
The Nameless Ones: 2 Votes (They can destroy cities and pose a threat to Will Smith. Even that isn’t enough.)

LAMBs, let me confess something to you. Your loyal MC really needs to hire a new PR firm. When word went out that I was letting these aliens duke it out, a got another letter from another representative of three other species that felt left out. Never one to back away from putting on an interesting fight, I decided to let these cinematic ETs duke it out this week. One is a gigantic native of a hostile world with a huge grudge against the human race. One is an unsympathetic invader with really killer war machines. One is a refugee living in squalor on Earth. All are dangerous! Two will die! One will survive!

Fighter 1: The Na’vi

These guys are quite deceptive. Though they appear to be tree hugging pushovers, these guys are actually quite vicious when it comes to warfare. They ousted a military campaign comprised of flying attack choppers, mech suits, and a lot of fire power, with bows, arrows, and really big birds. Their arrows are more akin to spears; their knives are more akin to swords. They are incredibly athletic, can throw a human like football, and are very hard to kill. They are susceptible to gun fire, and their reliance on nature will no doubt prove to be a setback. However, these guys are still one of the more dangerous species in the galaxy.

Fighter 2: The Tripods

Though they didn’t last very long, the Tripods sure as hell gave the humans a run for their money. They emerged from the ground one day, and began to lay waste to the world with heat rays that turned humans to ash and smashed even the toughest building. They then started taking humans hostage and harvesting their blood to grow a red weed that would slowly turn the Earth into a planet more akin to their own. They are towering and intimidating, even more so when you realize that they have a shield over their shells that protects from all forms of attack. Though they susceptible to disease, these guys are going to be very tough to beat.

Fighter 3: The Prawns

These guys sure came from behind, didn’t they? Once lowly refugees at the mercy of the cruel and intolerant humans, the Prawns eventually rose up to fight back, winning a decisive victory against their assailants. Though they are as fragile as humans, they can jump enormous heights, and are incredibly strong, able to throw someone several feet. They posses devastating weaponry that only they can use, and are backed up with a truly awesome mech suit armed with lightning, machine, and gravity guns. They may not look like much, but these guys can mess you up!

As always, remember. This isn’t a popularity contest. The Na’vi may be big and blue, but one blast from a tripod’s heat ray will kill them pretty fast. The prawns may possess some serious firepower, but one of those Na’vi arrows will put them down for good. The Tripods may have the shield, but get past that and they are at the mercy of the Prawn’s superior firepower. Think it over. Who would actually win here?

As always, if you have ideas of fights you’d like to see, don’t be coy little sheep. Sound off in the comments or send and e-mail to sebguts10@yahoo.com. I promise, I’ll get my PR firm on it right away.

Well, I think everyone’s about ready to do. The Na’vi is chanting their war cry. The Tripod is lighting up it’s heat ray. The Prawn is starting up its mech suit. The crowd is going wild. Let’s make it happen.

3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!

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